Not too long ago, frustrated with my children attempting to have conversations with me through the bathroom door, I decided to institute a new rule. Unless someone was dying or the house was on fire it could wait until I was out of the bathroom. It took some training, but most of the time the kids are pretty good. In fact, I was beginning to think we were past the bathroom interruptions. I should have known better.
Tonight I was in the bathroom when Maxx knocked on the door. (Yes, I can identify my children by the way they knock on the bathroom door.) Like normal, I responded with, “Just a minute,” my reminder that he needed to wait until I was done.
Instead of the usual, “Okay,” I heard, “Mom?” followed by an almost audible spinning of gears in his brain. Clearly, this little boy, who never seems to forget anything, had just realized he had broken a rule and was looking for a way out.
“Someone is dying.”
And there you have it, folks. I told you he never forgets anything. The one thing that he’s allowed to talk to me about through the bathroom door is exactly what comes out of his mouth. I ask him, “Who’s dying?”
I can tell by the almost giggly tone that Malia is definitely not dying, but there’s a pretty good chance that he’s feeling pretty proud of himself for managing to find a way out of trouble. “Oh, really. How is she dying?”
I think I’ve got him here, but really, I should know better by now. This boy is clever and thinks fast. Without missing a beat he replies, “Charles is sucking her blood.”
I smiled to myself while washing up, figuring at this point I may as well just go along with it. “Oh no! Did Charles turn into a vampire?”
“What are we going to do?”
I opened the door to a giant grin, got a big hug, then sent the boy off to play. I suspect that stories of unusual ways for people to die may become a regular part of my bathroom routine.